I prayed over what to call this particular part, and what I got was-silence. So, I went with: 

 

 “Wait-What Did You Say?” 

 “Marcus” 

 

    Nothing about the day I’m going to start with felt noticeably different to me, and yet, what I am about to tell you changed at least some aspect of every single thing in my life. I won’t waste too much time trying to come up with a spoiler or force your inquiring mind to read an annoyingly long intro because no one has time for that. I’m just going to start.

 

     I do, however, need to put out there that just like all the stories that make up the "Finally Finding" series, this too is a work of fiction. While the subject matter is 100% based on His Truth-the way it’s being shared is a product of obedience- where the Author of all things inspired His daughter with a story that she then wrote and shared with you. She had no idea what would come of the vision she was given but she sat down and used her gift of creativity to bring this world to life. Enjoying what the Creator wove together she learned with each added word that if she allowed Him to show her the way, the story would be far better than anything she could have ever dreamt of herself. What started out as a feel-good love story grew into a community of people that genuinely loved their Maker, as well as one another-their “neighbors”.  

 

     Cindy had no clue what was happening in the bigger picture of the fictional world she was inspired to write. The proof however, that the Almighty knew all along is all over the place. When she goes back and revisits the first three books it becomes almost like a treasure hunt for her. Or maybe it's more like a gift with a divine purpose that gets her smiling each time she is met with an “Ah-ha…It really was You!” moment (At this point, I think she's come to calling them, "Ah-Yah, moments"). Since, this disclaimer is being shared from my (Marcus Cook III's) perspective, I will share with you something even she had no idea was taking place when she wrote it. And I’ll have you know that she tried to remove it multiple times only to finally leave it alone just as she was meant to.  

 

     In the beginning of Finally Finding Purpose, you find me talking with someone, but who it is isn't made known; and it never comes back up again. Because of this, Cindy found it to not only be a bit odd, but she overthought it and as I just shared, she tried to remove it only to put it back after unsuccessfully being able to rid herself of the feeling that it was meant to be there. What she was unaware of until a few weeks after the story was fully written is that the person I was talking to was her; the writer.

 

Much like when she brought Lucas and Elizabeth, and Joshua and Beth's love stories to life, when she sat down to put my story into words, she was still asleep. She actually worried about telling my story because she was given very little of it and it only came to her when she sat down to write it. Because she trusted that He would lead the way, she went with the flow, and then right after my introduction, I moved her to the 50-yard line scene. The story she originally dreaded and even worried about a bit, ended up becoming her favorite because even though she finished it before she was given eyes to truly see, she was being awakened herself without knowing it.  

 

     You can find out more about her “Awakening” in her blogs (if and when she actually starts updating them). I do want to add that she nearly stopped all work on this series when she first learned the Truth. She even went as far as to unpublish Book 2 of the series temporarily (poor Josh & Beth) and was prepared to delete all of Book 3 from her personal drafts- not wanting to further add to the lies of the world. What she learned (Praise Yah!) is that she wasn't wrong, He was in fact, working. She was even brought to tears the day she went back and read my introduction.

 

Feeling as if her Heavenly Father was standing right beside her as she figured out whom it was that I was talking to. She read the words I spoke, out loud to her cousin, and threw her hand over her mouth as the tears fell steadily down her face. It was clear, and she told Izzy (most fantabulous cousin as well as web designer ever-btw), “It was me. Marcus was talking to me." then switching to a moment of praise she said, "Oh, Yahuah. You knew, You really did give this world to me to share. I wasn't sure for a moment, but You knew all along. Thank You!” 

 

     Now, aren’t you glad that while I have been made new- I am still a work in progress (literally and figuratively- it so happens). I started this whole thing claiming I wouldn’t do what I’ve clearly done.

 

Ha-take heart

I’m done with the sidetracked set up, and while it was worth telling, I am going to do you a solid and restart telling you about the day my Creator woke me up. 

​

​

     About halfway through my time in seminary, my GPS led me to a library that was about thirty-minutes passed the ranch, up in the mountains. It seemed odd to me at first because it was sort of hidden, but the moment I stepped inside, I felt a certain calmness within it that caused the place to feel somehow spiritual. I later learned just how true that was, and I’ll get that later- maybe. 

 

     The fact that it was a little out of the way prevented me from going there as often as I wanted to, especially after my daughter was born, but on some days, the urge was too strong for me to ignore. On the day I was just sharing what happened with you, I felt as if my soul was being called there. I prayed about it and knowing that I wanted to give my wife a day of pampering with her friends, I packed up Kalisa’s diaper bag and let Leighton know the baby I were going to the library.  

 

     “You really do have to take me there one day. I want to see the place that clearly holds a little piece of your heart” she said teasingly, as she buckled our daughter into her car seat, before slipping into my arms and lifting herself onto her tiptoes to give me a kiss.  

 

     “Absolutely. I told you already, you would love it there. Now, go have a good time, okay. I love you.” I returned with a smile and closed my eyes as I breathed her in.  

     

     “Don’t forget, we are supposed to meet at the Walker’s tonight for dinner. It’s at six, Marcus. I know you can lose track of time when you’re there.” She reminded me, still in my arms, squeezing me tight. 

 

     “I know, babe. I don’t believe that's going to happen today since I only have enough of your milk to get her through five maybe six hours max.” I assured and kissed the top of her head before telling her goodbye. 

 

 

     Kalisa was five weeks old the day I walked into the library. I knew I was led there but I wasn’t sure why exactly, so I made my way over to the religious/spiritual section because that’s what I usually did when I'd gone in the past. Before I made it, a voice called out congratulating me on the little girl that was securely fastened to my chest in a piece of cloth; that with the proper knots could more than likely hold even Leighton in place. 

 

I thanked the young man who looked to be close to my age maybe a bit younger and felt something inside me begin to stir. My heart all but began to pound when he continued talking but used my name. 

 

     Cocking my head to the side a bit, my brow lifted showing my surprise as I asked, “I’m sorry, have we met?” 

 

     A smile widened on the stranger's face which caused me to place my hand on my daughter’s back, unsure if the situation I was in might turn out to be a threat. Noticing my reaction, he held up his hand, and while I knew he meant to demonstrate he was safe, the soldier in me switched into recon-mode. In that moment, I was in a potential battlefield and one thing I was sure of was that nothing, and no one would be hurting my daughter. 

 

     “I…am the one that’s sorry. I didn’t realize how creepy that might have been for you- my most sincere apologies. My name is Bīnyāmīn. I stumbled upon your church page a little while back and once I heard you speak, I knew my Father in the Shamayim was the One who led me to find you. Especially since I am not one that goes on the Internet all too often.” He began and paused to chuckle.   

 

     “Anyway, I felt a connection to you that I knew was from above, so I dug into things.” He started again before I cut him off. The feelings his words were stirring up inside were at war with one another. A part of me wanted to hear him out while the other part, was telling me that every second counts and I needed to get out of there before I ended up putting my daughter at risk of something potentially dangerous. 

 

     “Hold up. Did you just say that you’ve been stalking me? Listen man, this ain’t cool. I’m…I’ve gotta go.” I said firmly causing Kalisa to stir a bit but was met with a look of desperation from the stranger as he begged me to stay. 

 

     “Please, let me just explain. We can go anywhere you feel comfortable. Listen, take out your phone, go over to the front desk, it’s the only place in this building that has a strong and steady signal and call or text as many people as you want and tell them my name, where you are, and whatever else will assure you that I mean no harm to you or…” he pleaded and finished with a nod as he looked at the baby, before letting me know, he would wait for me in the seating area just beyond where we had been standing. 

 

Deciding to do what he said, because I wasn’t stupid, and I was trained to never assume anything, I sent a text to both Josh and Lucas, and I called Danny. 

 

     “What’s up, man?” He answered after the first ring. 

     “Listen, I’m at a library, I’ll send you my exact coordinates when we hang up, but I just met a man and I think I’ll be fine, but I have Kalisa with me, and I don’t want to risk anything.” I shared, before he cut me off, insisting I send him my location right away so he can come. 

 

     “Hey, I appreciate it…and if you don’t hear from me in 1 hour, then come find me, but something in me is telling me that I need to hear him out. Don’t say anything to Leighton. I don’t want her to worry. I really think he’s safe.” I let him know, finding the confession to somehow bring me an odd sense of peace. 

 

     After I sent him my location, I began walking back over to the seating area where I found the young man sitting cross-legged and reading to a child on the floor. I smiled at the little girl who looked an awful lot like the man sitting with her and learned he was her father when he introduced me to her. Once he got up, he instructed his daughter to go and find her mother for a bit so the two of us could talk. 

 

     “I really am sorry, I didn’t mean to come across as a psycho. I forget that I know much more about you and even feel like I truly know you, when this is the first time you are meeting me. Let me start by saying, I am your brother.” 

 

 

     Okay.

     

     Let me just say, no way on earth did I expect to hear him say that, and my face absolutely told him that very thing because he actually laughed before he continued. 

 

     “Really. We have the same father. I am half Haitian just like you, and my other half is Hebrew or as we were told, American Indian.” He paused to offer a snide chuckle then added, “But much like you are in no means an African American, I am not an Indian. Also, the Haitian thing doesn’t matter much either, but we can get into that later. I just told you so that you knew I was speaking the Truth. No one knows that about you-the only thing you admit about yourself is the Jamaican side and believe me, I understand why.” 

 

     I blew out a breath and felt my hands begin to tremble. The fact that he knew something I learned when I was five years old but never once thought about again (until that moment), allowed me to accept that he was not a threat, and I was then able to feel the truth that I was in fact, led there that day as if it was something that physically wrapped itself around me. Wanting to find out what the Creator was revealing I nodded; letting him know I was ready to hear more. 

​

After he explained the situation with his mom and our shared father and even let me know that he tried to contact him but was informed that Marcus Sr. wanted nothing to do with his "bastard" children. Lucky for him, I completely agreed. 

 

     “So, when Abba Yahuah, lead me to find you…What?” He began again but the look on my face when he called the Almighty a name I had never heard, led him to pause. 

 

     “What did you call Him?” I asked pointing and shifting my eyes upward to make my point. 

 

     “Oh. Well, He…” mimicking my gesture with a smile, “Has a name. His name is, Ya-Hu-Ah…Wait. Close your eyes. Breathe in deep and ask Him if what I have just told you is Truth.” The fact that he knew what I was thinking when I was certain I made no sign of it in my appearance, felt divine. The original thought of doubt that first appeared at the mention of a name I had never heard before happened so quickly I didn’t have time to react physically before he encouraged me to reach out for the Truth. Sensing there was something deeper going on allowed me to take his advice and do what he told me to do as he spoke. After a few deep breaths, when my eyes were still closed, he began again. 

 

     “I have learned that when a person who has been sleeping is about to be awoken it can be frightful, and sometimes even too much for them. But I know that I am meant to tell you, His Truth. You are His, brother.” 

 

 

     The anxious feeling I had all but disappeared as he spoke and a feeling of peace like I never knew before washed over me. After opening my eyes I grinned and let out, “You have no idea how many times I’ve heard that.” 

 

     “I’m sure since it’s true.” He returned with a smile of his own. 

 

     “So, what does this mean? I feel like there’s more- like you being my brother is just sort of a means- no offense. But really…I have this sense like you are about to blow up my world and I have no idea if it will be a good thing or not.” I pressed. The fact that my Creator had a name wasn’t shocking to me. I mean, so many Scriptures didn’t fully make sense without knowing it. How many times did His Word say some sort of variant, those who know Him and call on His name are His, and yet we are given more times than not the generic, "lord"? Capitalized or not, it’s a title not a name and quite frankly, it’s extremely played out and overused this day and age. 

 

     “I just want to assure you, that we do believe in the same Elohim. The El’ in your Word, that you speak of is in fact, real, but your source of knowledge was compromised. I know you are familiar with Scripture; it’s the very reason I was told to show you the Truth. The fact that you fought against the lies of the deceiver for so long is beautiful, brother.” He said and his words caused my heart to pick up its pace a bit. 

 

     “Wait…I'm not sure I'd call it beautiful- I fought against God. And then He showed me how He was there the whole time.” I defended as to show him he was mistaken. 

 

     “You aren’t wrong. You fought against the deceiver though. That is the g-d of the church” he started and spelled the “g” word even using the dash as to not allow it to pass through his lips. 

 

     “Ha’Satan has only done what your very Scripture told you he would do. Actually, Isaiah speaks of it when he addresses Lucifer in chapter 14:12, and then Revelation tells you that Satan had indeed deceived the entire world when he was cast down to earth. The problem is that you’ve been indoctrinated to believe that hasn’t happened yet. When in fact, the Mashiach-Messiah tells you Himself, in John 5:43, ‘I’ve come in My Father’s name, and you do not receive me: if another comes in his own name, him you will receive.’” He stopped while staring deep in my eyes. 

 

I knew he had so much more to say but I was also hearing him. Or so I wanted to be sure I was. When he spoke, the words found in John chapter 5, I felt something whisper to my soul. 

 

     “The name?” I began, to which my brother simply nodded. Encouraging me to keep pushing in that direction. “Do you know the name that the people receive?” I said, and my eyes filled with tears because something in me already knew he did. 

 

     “I do. First, let me tell you the true name of your Savior.” He said and waited for me to nod. “He says to you, that He came in His Father’s name. You now know that His Father’s name is, YaHuAh which means Yah adds or brings breath/air. The Son’s name is, just as He said of His father's name- YaHu-Sha which means; Yah adds or brings Salvation. Take a moment again and seek Him for confirmation that what I have spoken to you-is True.” 

 

 

The tears spilled from my eyes but not because I didn’t believe him.

 

I did.

I knew what he was saying was real, but I was confused about so many things, so in my confusion, I began to ramble. 

 

     “Wait…I believe you, but what does that mean? I felt something inside as you were speaking that felt like nothing I have ever felt, but I was convinced that I knew Him. How…why? Oh man. I don’t think I am going to like what you are about to tell me. Am I?” 

 

After shaking his head, he confirmed, “Probably not. But I think you have figured it out for yourself. The one that was received and is accepted by uncountable amounts of people has a name. The name is worshipped and shouted out by people who believe they are following in truth, but they are on the wide and broad path that leads to destruction. I will not say the name meant to deceive but the initials will confirm what the Spirit has already told you- J…” he started, and I finished, “C” 

 

     He showed me so many things that only proved what he was saying. As much as I soaked it all in, I could feel in my soul- in the very fibers of my being that he was telling me the Truth. It felt as if he led me spiritually to a metaphorical door that had been keeping me away from the Truth. Once I was shown it was there-that it existed, I could almost feel as if while I was searching for my Maker before I had only gotten close. My path led me right outside of His house, but the lies of world prevented me from being able to come within.

 

Being where I was, and wanting to truly know Him instead of just blindly accepting allowed me to hear His voice above the noise because He is greater than the one that is in this world. Once I put my hand on the doorknob and turned, I knew I found what I had been searching for, and I was certain that my hunger for Him would grow expeditiously.

 

     The ringing of my phone startled me. I hit accept, after explaining to Bīnyāmīn that I needed to answer while offering him a look that my spoken response to the caller only confirmed. “Hey, Danny- I am so sorry I forgot to call you but, what?” I said and stood up to find the voice I was able to hear in the building as well as on my phone. Ending the call, I waved him over once our eyes met. I apologized again and assured him I was okay while letting him know that I simply lost track of time.  

 

     “Marcus, you can’t lose track of time when you call me like you did.” He said, clearly torn between feeling relief, fear, and I’m sure annoyance at my failure to let him know I was okay. 

 

     “I’m very sorry. It’s my fault entirely. I’m Bīnyāmīn.” Bīnyāmīn offered while putting his hand out to introduce himself before adding, “Hey, if nothing else, at least you know he is a true friend.” while looking between the two of us, as Danny shook his hand and nodded. 

 

     "I'm not sure what it is, but something is up between you two. There's something familiar about you. Ben…Can I call you Ben?" Danny asked.

 

     "If you prefer, but my nickname is Benji." The one being surveyed answered, seemingly unbothered by what was taking place.

 

     "Okay, Benji, it is. Have we met? You look…" Danny hesitated as his eyes shifted back and forth between us before he lifted his brow. When the two of us smiled at him- he did a double take. "Why do you have the same exact smile?" Benji and I then both looked at one another to search for ourselves, something that apparently had been obvious to my best friend immediately.

 

     "He is not wrong." a woman's voice interrupted from off to the side. When I turned to find where it had come from, I saw the little girl, Cheyenne from earlier in what was clearly her mother's arms. She walked over to her husband, took a seat on his lap, and placed their daughter down where she immediately took off, seemingly familiar with the library.

 

     "You two look like the brothers that you are. Hi, sorry to interrupt. My name is Shiloh. I'm the wife. I tried to give you privacy but when I saw another person come, I…" She began, to which her husband cupped her hand lovingly and assured her it was okay that she joined us. Introductions were made and I laughed a little when I looked at my best friend who had been looking back and forth with his mouth opened- just a little, clearly stuck trying to process the new information.

 

     "Brothers, for real? Like is this one of your mom's that you never got to meet?" He asked, looking my way.

 

     "The birth father." I clarified, feeling as if I had too much to tell him and not nearly enough time to get it all out.

 

Looking at Shiloh, Danny asked, "Is this a good thing? I mean you married your half of this one here and I- well…" he questioned while making a playful face suggesting he was teasing, causing us all to laugh.

 

 

     Danny and I stayed for an extra hour allowing us all an opportunity to get to know one another a bit. After Kalisa finished her bottle and was back asleep, we said our goodbyes to our new friends. Benji and I exchanged numbers and agreed to meet up again soon.

 

While I knew everything that I had learned that afternoon was true, and I felt peace in regard to it, the moment I put Kalisa in Leighton's SUV, I felt the heaviness of the world trying to creep in on me when Danny asked,

     

     "What's the deal? They seemed cool and all, but it's not like you to forget something like that."

 

     "I am sorry. Please, trust it was all just me being caught up in what he was saying. I know it was all true. I can't explain the way I feel but Dan…" As I was beginning to tell him how the new information that I just learned was going to change things it hit me…

 

IT. WAS. GOING. TO. CHANGE. THINGS!

 

Knowing me the way he did, he asked me what was up, and I couldn't help or control the tears as they began to fall.

 

     "Marcus. What in the world is going on man?" He asked as he pulled me into his arms. How do you say that you just found out something life changing and you're ready to run toward it knowing you won't look back or hesitate for a second, but you are scared to death that once you tell others they may reject the very Truth that is meant to set them free?

 

A part of me wished I could stay with my brother longer. I had four more hours until I was supposed to be at the Walkers. I needed more information before I potentially blew apart what had come to be my village.

 

     "Dan. I can't go yet. Can you please take Kalisa to my grand-mom's if Leighton isn't back? I'm not ready to face everyone yet." I begged. Willing him to trust me even though I was sure I sounded insane.

 

     "You've got to give me something. Are you okay, for real? I am worried about you. I feel they are good people, but something is different and…wheeew" He blew out a breath.

 

     "I promise you I am okay. Let me ask you something. If you found out that everything you were taught was a lie, would you want to know the truth or would you choose to live in denial because it's what you are comfortable with?"

 

     "Marcus, you have got to give me more than the cryptic matrix stuff. What is going on?" He started, clearly growing impatient with me but also, sensing the urgency I must have been projecting because he continued, "I'd take the red pill. I'd want to know the truth."

 

Feeling an overwhelming sense of relief the moment he said what I hoped he would, I pulled him into a hug again and gave him an extremely abbreviated explanation promising to fill him in on all of it later.

 

     "You're worried about Leighton?" he asked.

     "I'm worried about all of them. I had a feeling you would stick by me regardless because well…you know. But I'm not so sure with the rest of them, and I need to find out as much as I can before I see them tonight because when I pull the pin on this Truth grenade, I need to be ready for the aftermath." He nodded. And just after we swapped keys he offered,

 

     "Marcus, I'm here for you always. No matter what. You are not alone."

While I knew I was in fact- not alone, the reminder that I had a person I loved promising to stay with me, offered me a bit of hope, while also nudging me to go back into my brother- another person I would have.

 

 

     Unsure if it was okay or if I was welcomed still, I offered an apology when I found Benji behind the counter. "I'm not sure if it's okay that I came back. If you're busy then maybe we can set something up but" Once again, I couldn't control my tears. This time, my body shook and in no time at all my brother was around the counter to where I was standing where he pulled me into his arms and assured me, he had all the time I needed.

 

     "I can't imagine how you must feel. I grew up with the Truth. Well, in all honesty, I grew up with a great-grandfather who share the Truth but was often dismissed. Even here, the enemy worked his illusion. He used colonisation and pride as a weapon to cause our people to forget who they were and cling to things that were never meant for them. You know it all too well yourself. Not just in the history of the Scriptures but the way the world tries to tell you who you are, what you should think while telling you a repeated story of lies meant to keep you asleep so they can control you. It's everywhere sadly, not just the people who happen to have more melanin than others."

 

Benji started by showing me how the first believers were hijacked which led to the Roman Catholic church and Constantine's Creed.

As I read the words it was so clear that the church was truly pagan which is all satanic- causing me to feel sick to my stomach. I had just graduated from seminary and not once was I taught the whole story. Constantine's love of his false pagan gods clearly controlled him and made way for the merging of all things Rome into the One True faith of the Set Apart Hebrews, and it nearly demolished it just as it set out to.

 

After reading just how disgusting the foundation of "Christianity" was, it was easy to see how the enemy was able to deceive the world. It was diabolically clever. His master plan infiltrated and then blew apart the Convenient while further giving birth to all things meant to keep people from finding the Narrow Path. Tell them what to believe and make them think they have a choice when the narrative has been forced fed to them from every angle. Lie about history. Lie in schools about everything, in the media, on television, and most importantly from behind the pulpit.

 

 

     The thing about the deceiver is he can't create anything new though. Only Yah can make things out of nothing. What Ha'Satan can do is pervert and corrupt what already exists. He in no means is equal to or even the direct opposite of the Almighty, like he wants people to believe. He is a created being. He was brought to existence by Yahuah, therefor if a comparison must be made it would be to one of the likes of the Archangels. Michael perhaps. Both created. One good. One evil.

 

     

     "You are taking this so well. It's easy to see Abba Yahuah has given you the Ruach Ha'Kodesh, but I sense apprehension maybe? Are you afraid to tell the others in your life?" 

 

     "I don't know how to answer that. I think what I am feeling is what comes with the realisation that the Scriptures weren't talking abstractly when the Messiah said, the world would hate me. I can only imagine how people who love the name of Jesus will react when I tell them the Truth. Then, seeing how we as the church were conditioned to believe it was all either not for us, or speaking of a time ahead in the future, or even worse- that the reason we weren't being persecuted here in this country, is because of His favor because we have been 'saved' by a false wooden image that we were commanded so many times NOT to worship. Only to find that all we've been doing- all I've been doing is just preaching the world to itself and that is why it's accepted without opposition. It was ALL a lie that had already been accepted and highly favored." I explained what my mind was learning to be true as it had been coming to me.

 

     "Hold on. You were asleep, that is true, but I listened to your streamed sermons. I even listened to Lucas Walker share from his heart and in no way (apart from the incorrect names) were you adding to the lies. You cannot punish yourself for what you did not know before you came to learn it. This was done to you and Yahuah knows that. That being said it is not an excuse. Meaning, you would have to have an answer as to why you weren't truly seeking Him had you not been given eyes to see." I wanted to understand what he was saying, and I think I did but was grateful when he began to break it down further for me.

 

     "Off the top of my head, I can think of at least ten different verses where we are told to seek Him, but let's go with, what you know to be Jeremiah 29:13, 'You will seek Me and find Me when you search for me with all your heart.' The reason so few find Him is because their heart is filled with pride or even laziness where they just accept what they've been told or taught instead of seeking the Wisdom for themselves. For instance, you know and have spoken about having a personal relationship being the will of the Father, you were not wrong, and you shared how you got there. You were searching and you were doing exactly what He asks of us in His Word, but many people learn the verses while forgoing the lessons and connection all together simply because they memorized and can regurgitate verses to fit what caters to their flesh. They are comfortable as Scripture tells us in 2 Timothy 4:3-4 satisfying their itching or tickling ears, with very little to no action on their part. You know?" he began and paused until I nodded. Assuring him I was following.

 

     "You were led to a group of people that were living their lives how they were called to even before any of them knew what was happening in the world around them. I can only speak for what I have seen because I don't know them personally, but they do not appear to be hypocrites, or just more church day believers that have plagued the world with spiritual apathy while convincing themselves they are 'saved'. So, be grateful that Yahuah gave you eyes to see, and trust He will show you what you need to know as you walk with Him." he said with a smile while reaching and squeezing my shoulder clearly hoping to offer me some reassurance.

 

     "I can't wait for you to meet Lucas. I think you two will get along famously. I need to be honest though. My wife, her whole life was built on her love for her Father. Her faith, I learned was something beautiful once I stopped resenting her for it. I'm afraid she will not handle this well, and I love her and I…" I couldn't, well that's not true. I didn't want to say the next part out loud because I didn't want to even think about the idea of losing Leighton.

 

     "Ask yourself this, and I in no means am asking to judge you but more so, I'm hoping you'll be able to help yourself. Worst case scenario, she rejects the Truth. You don't necessary lose her. The unbeliever is the one that gets to leave not the believer- so, you get to live your life showing her the Truth in your actions and allow Yah to work through you. Now let's say she leaves, would you regret knowing the Truth- would you turn from Yahuah for temporary satisfaction in her? Would you choose the creation over the Creator?" he asked, and I was surprised that my soul was prepared to answer even though I could feel my heart ache knowing the truth of it.

 

     "I love my wife. She is a gift that I give thanks for always and yet; I would pick Him. I don't want to think about it because it will do no good. There is no way I can guess how she is going to take this, but I think I need to breathe a bit before I tell her."

 

Agreeing and offering to help me however he could while reminding me that our Creator will get me through all of the next steps. The telling other people part, their reactions, and whatever else comes next- be it good or bad, I just had to trust and seek Him. Before I left, my brother laid his hands on me and prayed over me. I was comforted when I realized it felt similar to when Josh or Lucas prayed over me meaning It really was Him before I learned His name. And yet, now that I was hearing for the first time with ears that could hear, it was even more intense than I thought possible. Yahuah, was more than alive-He was gathering the nations and waking up His children just as He promised He would.

 

 

 

     While I knew without a doubt in my mind, I wasn't going to be doing this alone-I wanted to say it out loud to someone other than Leighton first. A part of me knew this wasn't right and I was grateful that Yah took control and intervened. You'll see how in, 5…4…3…2…and 1

 

 

     I made my way to my grand-mom's.

     I told myself it was because I figured my daughter was there and I could hold her or something if things went south. Benji told me that there will absolutely be people in my life that will reject this. I didn't see this as a premonition or prophecy just simply reminding me of the Truth found in Scripture. The Narrow Path is one that few find, and regardless of how badly we want for our loved ones to choose life-most will choose sleep not realizing it will lead them to destruction.

 

I took a deep breath before I got out of Danny's truck and was a little relieved when my wife's SUV wasn't in the Walker's driveway yet. My grandmother lived in the Walker's guesthouse which was not only perfect for her, but it turned out to be convenient seeing as it was close to the time I was supposed to be showing up there.

 

Leighton surprised me when she was the one to pull open the door and I couldn't help but laugh at what I was sure was divine intervention, and I inwardly thanked the One I was sure orchestrated them being together.

 

     "Hey baby, you're even early." My wife greeted as she slipped into my arms and waited for my kiss. I looked to my grand-mom who was holding Kalisa and for the life of me, I couldn't figure out how to hide the magnitude of what I brought with me from revealing itself on my face.

 

     "What happened?" my wife asked, clearly concerned, while my grandmother took a seat in the side chair waiting for me to answer as well, while giving Leighton and me the ability to sit together on the sofa.

 

     "A lot has happened and first, I have to say I am sorry baby. I came here not because I thought you would be here but because I didn't know how to tell you what's going on and I was hoping to seek counsel from my grand-mom. I shouldn't have done that, but I am glad the Almighty intervened." I confessed as I led her to sit beside me on the couch. After I assured her that my opening greeting wasn't meant to be cryptic at all and explained the best I could what I learned. It was Atalia who spoke first.

 

     "I don't think this is too crazy. A name is a powerful thing, an intimate thing even. My whole life I called Him what spoke to me and favored things other than what you are telling is lies. I still know He is real, and I still know He has a mighty plan for you and this child. I can't wait to learn more and seek Him fully in Truth." she said, and it seemed a bit too easy.

 

Unsure what my wife was thinking I lifted her hand to my mouth and kissed her knuckles while I tried to search her face for a clue as to what was going on in her mind.

 

     "Can you excuse me for a moment? I need to go to the bathroom?" she let out and stood with rushed determination causing my heart to pick up its pace as she walked away. My mind started to jump to conclusions and just as I asked Yahuah to help me- help her, and help her- hear Him, my grand-mom placed my daughter in her porta-crib and knelt before me.

 

     "Look at me, my boy. She will come around. This is big news for her. You will keep loving her just as she loved you while you were lost and trying to find your way. Even though she is not lost, she needs to test what you have told her which is good- that is exactly what He commands us to do. And she needs to learn that it is the same voice that she has always known because she is one of His."

 

Just as she finished, and I nodded my head I heard my wife begin to sob in the bathroom. Even as I stood my grandmother encouraged me to go to her. And I was grateful Leighton forgot to lock the door when I let myself in and found her lying on the floor, face down. I wasn't sure what to do but I froze when she began to yell. "I don't even know what to call Him. You walk in and tell me that I have been praying to Satan my whole life and I thought- I thought I knew Him. Why? Why did this happen? How could I have been so blind?" My heart broke for the fragile woman on the floor. I knelt down and pulled her into my arms as I sat against the tub and cradled her against my chest hoping to help her, while she figured out the Truth.

 

     "Oh, baby, you weren't wrong. You know Him. Leighton, just breathe. Ask Him to show you the Truth." I tried but she yanked away from me to snap back, "No, Marcus. I already know that you are right. I get this feeling sometimes when things are evil, but more than that, I thought I knew peace. But when you were talking, first, I felt sick. I assumed it was because you were blaspheming, but then when I came in here and I asked Him…I felt a peace that made absolutely no sense at all. This was supposed to be real. My Father, and my Savior that I loved more than anything and you just told me that the very thing my whole life revolved around was a lie. I laid down and I prayed- I begged Him for the Truth and when I whispered His name in my heart, that odd sense of complete peace radiated all throughout my body, which means that I am a fraud. Which means I don't have to worry about Him saying, He never knew me because I- I never knew Him."

 

I pulled her against me again and I cried with her. I was just about to speak when Atalia commanded, "In the mighty name of Yahusha the Messiah you must flee. Get out of her Ba'al she is not one of yours. She belongs to the Most High and in this moment all bonds to you- deceiver, all strongholds will be severed." as she reached around us and turned on the faucet to fill the tub.

 

     "Leighton, listen to me right now. The voice of doubt- the voice of confusion inside of you is from the enemy. He does not want to let you go. You must reach for Your Father- You know His voice, child. He is not the author of confusion as you know from the letters to the Corinthians. You must reach for Him. He will hold you, but only if you choose Him in this moment right now. He loves you enough to show you the Truth- it is up to you now to decide if you will walk in It."

 

I felt my wife's body tremble and I prayed with all I had in me for Yahuah to make Himself known in whatever special way He needed to so she would choose Him. She jerked away from me and crawled over to the toilet and violently threw up.

 

I looked up at my grandmother who clearly was being led in what to do because she placed my hands on my wife along with her own and asked her if she believed in the Father, Yahuah. When she nodded, my grandmother asked if she believed in the Son, Yahusha- when she nodded again, Atalia told her to renounce the false names. My wife then cried out, cutting all ties with the names she clung to her whole life, and once she said, "In the name of Yahusha the Truth sets me free." my grandmother told me to place her in the tub.

 

Initially unsure of what to do, I felt the Ruach come upon me and was led to baptize my wife in the Truth. In the name of "Yahusha HaMashiach". You could feel a shift in the room. The evil that tried so desperately to claim my wife, and the power of her Mighty Father in Heaven as He covered her in His wings the moment, she turned her face toward Him."

 

     "Marcus, go and take her into my room and lay with her for a bit. I will take care of Kalisa." I nodded my agreement not trusting my voice. I stripped my wife of her wet clothes as my grand-mom called out that she would leave something for her on the bed, and then I wrapped Leighton in a towel and lifted her in my arms. She nuzzled into my neck like always and all I could feel in that moment was a need to make it all better for her.

 

I wanted her to feel the calm that I felt when I searched for Him. I wanted her to be okay with the Truth because I didn't want to think about what it would mean if she turned away. What took place in that bathroom gave me hope, she said the right things she seemed as if she was safely in her Father's arms only, I wasn't naive enough to believe things would be smooth sailing. Especially since she was far from her usual "Leighton self." I was pleased when she pulled me down so I could hold her once I finished getting her dressed.

 

     "Marcus. I feel like my heart is broken. It feels so much like when you left me." At that, I felt the panic as it tried to take over. Not wanting to give it any power I blew out a breath, looked up and asked her to explain.

 

     "I don't know how to yet. I just feel like I need to be alone. Please." She said as tears fell down her face and her body trembled as she cried.

 

     "Oh, baby. I am so sorry. Tell me how to fix this?" I said, pulling her tighter against my chest as I kissed her head over and over while rocking the two of us slowly.

 

     "Marcus. Do you truly believe this?" she asked and before I could say anything, she continued, "Because what just happened in that bathroom was undeniable. So, why would say you're sorry? I just need time. I feel lost, and I don't know how to fix it."

 

     I was now feeling a sense of urgency in place of the panic, so I slid my arm out from under my wife, I moved my body to hover over hers resting my weight on my elbows so I could take her face between my hands, and I begged her, "Reach for Him. I love you; I love you so much…reach for Him. You already know His voice." I kissed her once more after she closed her eyes and nodded, and then I left her alone like she asked. No part of me was okay with it, but I couldn't do what came next for her. That much I was certain of.

 

 

 

       *This is where the first installment ends, but this story is far from finished. The next part is available and I hope to have even more for you soon (and regularly) and as I've said previously, from other people's perspectives as well- Yah willing.

 

I will do my best to get the rest up as soon as possible but please keep in mind that while I am working on this "Awaking" I am also in the process of writing the rest of the books in the "Finally Finding" series. Thank you, for your patience.

 

Much love, and as always,

~Shalom-shalom, mishpacha (peace-peace, family)

Keep on Keeping on-for HIM!