"Marcus"

​

   "I'm just not sure I'm seeing the same thing…no, I get what you're saying, and I understand the importance of it, but it seems like a trap to me." I said to my brother just as my wife walked through the door with our daughter and smiled. I kissed Leighton and Kalisa and tried to allow Benji to share what he thought was true while I kept my emotions in check by leaning into the Ruach.

 

   "I just don't want you to allow your situation to blur your spiritual vision, that's all, and I mean no disrespect to Leighton in any way. Marcus, the bloodlines matter, that's why we are told all about them in great detail, so don't overlook the importance of natural born versus grafted in." I took a deep breath in and squinted my eyes as I gripped Leighton's elbow so she would stay close by. When she looked up at me, I stared into her gorgeous green eyes and bit my lower lip.

 

   "Benji again, I hear what you are saying, and just like with everything else, I will lean into the Ruach and allow Yah to show me His Truth. Brother, I simply need to remind you that there is one law, one covenant for the natural born, the foreigner, and the sojourner, and let us not forget that all of us must be grafted in, so I will sit with it, and be still at Yahuah's feet so He can go before me on this. Leighton and Kalisa just got home, so I will connect with you later. Be well, brother. Peace to you." I closed my eyes and pulled Leighton toward me and just breathed her in.

 

   "I'm not sure what's going on, but I'm assuming it has to do with the angry clips you've been watching. Do you want to talk about it?" Leighton asked, and when I was about to let her know I needed to sit with it for a bit, Kalisa started fussing, wanting me to hold her. I lifted my daughter into my arms and felt something in me that I brought before my wife.

 

   "Leighton, I'm sorry you heard any of that, but can I ask how much you heard and how you feel about it?" As soon as the words passed through my lips, my heartbeat sped up. I saw a flash of something inside of my wife that didn't belong there, and so I kept my eyes focused on hers, willing her to talk to me.

 

   "I don't know if I can tell you how I feel. I've heard a lot about what you've been searching for, and I know I can say this with confidence; I've also found similar content, and at first, I thought, ' Wow. ' I brought it to Yah, and I cried over it. I asked Him how it could be when I loved Him so much. But Marcus, even so, even if there is no hope for me, there's no redemption because I am from Esau, I would still follow Yahuah." Leighton looked away from me, but only because she was crying, and my heart broke as my spirit felt spurred to stop her tears. What she found was no different than the things I never wanted her to hear because there wasn't any truth in it. It was radical racism by people who were looking for validation in a world they weren't meant to be vindicated in.

 

I put our daughter down and pulled Leighton into my arms to be met with physical proof that something was off with my wife. Leighton always wrapped her legs around me when she needed me, and in that moment, I think she was worried that I might not be able to offer her peace. Wanting no part of it, I lifted her and walked the two of us toward the sofa, and I sat down. Once I was seated, I took my wife's face between my hands, and I asked her to look at me. Her tears fell, but she lifted her eyes and let a breath out threw her nose as her chest quivered.

 

   "Leighton, it is not true. I don't care what they have to say; it's not true." I began, but Leighton tried to shake her head that was still between my hands, and looked off to the side as she said, "Marcus, you may want to believe that, but what if you only do because I am white?"

 

I blew out a hard breath and told her to look at me again. Once she did, I reminded her that even if the color of my skin proved I was a Hebrew from one of the original twelve tribes, there was still a way, and that was through covenant. As she continued to cry, I asked, "Baby, how can I help you see this? Do you want me to call Samuel? Maybe he can help?" When she just closed her eyes and continued to cry, I pulled open the contacts on my phone while I cradled her face in my free hand and stroked her tears away with my thumb.

 

Samuel answered right away, and I let him know I had him on speaker while I filled him in on what was going on. "Marcus, are you at home or at the Faith Community Center? I am on my way to meet with Lucas, but I am close to the ranch now." Samuel asked, and he agreed to stop by so we could talk.

 

   "Leighton, I need you to think for a minute…" I said as my wife cried in my arms. I wasn't used to this side of Leighton because I had never seen her so unsure of herself (apart from the day I broke her heart and left her in the park before she went to China), and I wanted nothing more than to cast away her uncertainty. "Think about what Scripture says about color." She sat herself up and looked at me and said, "It doesn't. It doesn't give physical descriptions like that apart from what Messiah looks like, and He is clearly dark skinned like you." I smiled because I loved her even when she was being all smart and sassy.

 

   "Well, that's not exactly true. We are told that Esau and Jacob did not look alike. Leighton, think about the intimate relationship you have with the Most High. Do you really believe that the color of your skin has anything to do with being in covenant with Him? He says that sojourners and foreigners can be in covenant with Him if they guard His commands and keep His set-apart times." still trying to shake her head, she sulked out with a bit more conviction, "No, how many times does He forbid the Israelites from taking the foreign woman as wives, He wanted a pure bloodline, and He even made the ones who disobeyed Him leave their wives and children."

 

I looked at her and couldn't understand how she could even entertain this false teaching, let alone try and rationalize it. Before I could say another word, I turned my head to the side and yelled out, "Come in," when there was a knock at the door.

 

 

   "Shalum, shalum." Samuel greeted and smiled at Kalisa, who was playing on the floor, before he took a seat on the chair nearest me and my wife. Leighton slid off my lap and tried to move closer to the other side of the couch, but I wrapped my arm around her and pulled her into my side.

 

   "I knew my grandson would try to get you on board with this teaching, but I was called to be still, and, in that stillness, I was told to be silent. Marcus, what have you been shown through this?" Samuel asked and took the plastic teacup that was handed to him by our daughter.

 

   "It was interesting at first, but only because of their ability to twist Scripture out of context to wield their own agenda. I'm familiar with that approach from the Christian side of things and started to believe they did it from a place of simply not knowing who they are and what Yah's covenant is really all about. To see it being done by people who were given eyes to see Yah's covenant is straight up satanic roots and a doctrine of men who are angry and willingly doing the enemy's work. Not once did I see color mattering to Yah. It's always about the heart." I answered, and Leighton piped in, "Marcus, Yahusha Ha'Mashiach was not white like the church has created and that matters," as if to say, duh.

 

   "Hum, you are right, sister, only you are trying to whittle a point from a bucket of water. The lie of Mashiach's skin color was to keep you asleep and lost in Rome's pagan religion while hoping you would never find out who you are and, more importantly Who Yahuah is while getting you to break His commands. The division is about separation, distraction, and control. It's hard to love someone when you are taught, they are your enemy, and yet, Yahusha says, in Mattityahu 5:44, we are to love our enemies and lift up the ones who persecute us. We are not called to lift ourselves above others, we are not called to be hateful, we are called to live set-apart. The hatred found in the false teachings is not of Yahuah." Samuel tried to explain, only instead of helping, Leighton got up, grabbed our daughter, and said, "There's still a separation, and it does me no good to listen to the two of you trying to make me feel better. Please excuse me, I am going to feed Kalisa and put her down for a nap. Thank you for coming, Samuel. Please give my love to your wife."

 

I had no clue how we had gotten where we were, but it seemed insane to me. I looked at Samuel and shook my head, and just when I was about to let him know I would be right back, he put his hand on my knee and said, "Let her be for now. Much like how I was called to be still, Marcus, draw into the Ruach now. In this, you must not follow your heart, or it will cause a bigger issue altogether. Leighton needs to find out who she is, and that is not easy when everything you've been taught is a lie. You have been able to see the Truth and run with it without struggle because you fought so hard against man-made religion. Yah's voice is clear to you. Ruth and I have been lifting you since the moment we even suspected that Benji was bringing the false teaching to you." Samuel began, and I should have let him finish, but I cut him off.

 

   "What good is it? I know you said the Ruach called you to be still, and I am not suggesting that It was wrong, but I don't see how being exposed to hateful doctrine that causes people to do that…" I got out while pointing to my bedroom door, before continuing, "could be a part of Yah's plan."

 

   "Because you are looking at it through your heart and the feelings you have for your wife. Marcus, things will get worse in this world, we are told that. If we aren't sure who we are, and we do not learn to discern His voice, we will be led astray, and we will be burned in the fiery furnace. Being given eyes to see is a gift, but that vision is developed as we continue to lean into Yahuah. He must refine the ones who are His so they can endure until the end, but it does no good if we get in His way." Samuel returned firmly but not withholding love. In fact, it was his love that brought him there in the first place, and it was his love that was reminding me of the Truth.

 

   "It's hard. I want to fix it. I want to show her how wrong she is so she can feel His love." I got out as I felt my heart continuing to break.

 

   "Yes, it is very hard when our loved ones struggle to see the Truth. Marcus, let us seek Yahuah now. Most High, Yahuah, we seek You, we come before Your throne trusting You already know what is, as well as what is to come, help us to allow You to move and not get in the way. Show us how to love, how to speak only the Truth in Your time. Help Your daughter learn who she is and Who You really are. Make Your voice clear as Marcus waits for Your guidance and instruction on what to do, as well as what to say to his wife. Above all things, may Your will be done on earth as It is in the Shamayim."

 

   "Thank you. I hate knowing she heard and then fell into this trap. There's so much hatred in this, and the doctrine behind it is way off. I can't help but ask myself if I made a mistake not talking about it with her when Benji first brought it to me." I shared, and when Samuel asked why I didn't, I easily answered, "Because I wanted to make sure I tested it before exposing her to what ended up being another false doctrine. She has been testing things and going over each and every thought process she ever had, just like she should, but it isn't always easy for her. As her husband, I hoped to prevent her from picking up things not meant for her, and I wanted to protect her from any more lies."

 

   "Very good. You did what you are called to do, but she has also done the same. Her faith is her own, and she must seek Yahuah herself. Sometimes, as in the current case, the Ruach speaks only, we must first allow Yah to show us the things in our hearts that don't align with His Truth. The more she seeks Him, the more He will reveal. I do believe you will have to come alongside your wife and teach her things you have been shown, but I also have a peace that she will not be lost in this falsehood for long." Samuel confirmed what I had begun to feel myself once I let Leighton walk away.

 

 

 

   "Is everything okay with Lucas?" I asked, to which Samuel assured me things were well enough, and then reminded me that they were going to discuss ideas for setting up a place where local hungry people could come and be fed. This was something that we had discussed on more than one occasion, and both Samuel and Lucas felt there was a need. I agreed, of course, but knew it wasn't something I was being called to set up with them. I was glad they were ready to get things off the ground and put things into motion, however. The entire transformation of the one-time church building being completely handed over to Yahuah and allowing Him to have full reign over it has been incredible to watch.

 

The "few" that scripture refers to is really just that, but once we learned the Truth and refused to partake in the lies, we had been ensnared by under Christianity any longer— the building itself became a place for the people who were walking the Narrow Path.

 

If you ever wonder what happened to the money my father-in-law gave me back before I ended up going to seminary, I'll have you know it has been used to align the part of FCC that could be salvaged to Yahuah, like the building itself, once we pretty much stripped and gutted all the things that were designed to worship false idols and paganism. I think my favorite part of the remodel was climbing on the roof with Danny and Josh and smashing the steeple. It was a bit therapeutic for Josh and me coming to terms with all the lies while giving us an outlet to blow off a little steam. It was also a visual declaration that we were awake and handing the building completely over to Yahuah so that His will would be done each moment moving forward.

 

   "Let me know if there's anything you might need my help with, and as soon as you are ready, I'll get the information posted on the website." I offered once Samuel let me know he had to go to meet with Lucas. And just as he was ready to walk out the door, Beth knocked and let herself in.

 

 

   "Sorry, I just walked in, but I saw Samuel's truck and figured it would be safe. Hi, by the way…oh, and bye?" she got out in record time. Beth was the fastest talker I had ever met, and that is saying a lot since I am originally from New Jersey. Samuel nodded and smiled while saying both hello and goodbye, before closing the door behind him.

 

   "I really hope I didn't interrupt anything." Beth started and continued as I shook my head to let her know she hadn't. "I'm looking for your wife. I've called and texted and nothing…" she explained, completely free of her four boys—five if you count Josh.

 

   "I don't think I have ever seen you without another human being attached to you, and my wife left her phone in the kitchen at the main house after breakfast. She's in with Kalisa and Beth— I'm glad you're here." I said, not wanting to talk about Leighton behind her back, but grateful that I could trust Beth to take good care of her. "So, how did you manage to break free?" I asked, wondering if she left all the boys with Josh somehow.

 

   "Leighton wanted to work on some things up in the lab, so I hired me a few babysitters, and Phinn is being spoiled as he should be by Betsey. You want in?" Beth answered as she made her way to Kalisa's bedroom door and winked before she cracked it open to find my wife.

 

   "Hey, Marcus, I'm going to go and work on that new formula with Beth. Kalisa is sleeping and should be for at least another hour. I'm not sure what you have planned, but I can bring her to the main house if you have somewhere to be, or you can text Beth when she wakes." Leighton let me know, and I took three strides toward her and pulled her into my arms before I answered.

 

   "I hope you know how much I love you, Leighton. I am glad you've been given this distraction, and I hope you'll give some thought to talking to me and going over Scripture together. Baby, I'm here. If you are working things out with Yah, I respect that and will be lifting you up, but don't push me away. You good?" I assured my wife and felt her take a deep breath in my arms as she nodded against my chest.

"Take care of my wife, Bee, and have fun," I said with a smile before I slid my hand behind my wife's neck and lifted her chin with my thumb. Once she made eye contact with me, I bit my lip and then closed the distance between our mouths and watched as her eyes closed and she smiled into our kiss.

 

   "You can count on me. And whew…last time Josh kissed me like that, I ended up pregnant with Phinn. Marcus, you don't hold back, do you?" Beth teased, and I was happy for it when Leighton licked her lips and smiled as I shook my head and returned, "Not my style."

 

 

“Leighton”

 

   I have to admit, I was surprised that Beth made it up to the lab before she pressed me for details. She even waited to say anything at all until I walked over to where the new shipment of oils came, and I began lifting each of the glass vials out of the box before she tilted her head and said, “What gives? And before you try to dismiss me or deny anything, I am simply going to remind you that I have known you too long for that. Marcus said you may be dealing with something with Yahuah, and if that’s the case, I’ll stay in my lane, but Leigh, I’m here.”

 

I wanted to tell her that it was nothing, or simply say yes, yes, I’m trying to work things out with Yah, but I couldn’t. I had no idea what to say to my best friend, and I hated how I felt in general, so when I looked fully into her face, I ended up shaking my head, unprepared for the onslaught of tears.

 

   “Oh, Leigh,” she said and moved over toward me, where she pulled me into her arms and held me as she waited for me to open up.

 

   “I feel so lost, or maybe that’s not it. Bee, what if we are really wrong about who the Israelites truly are?” Beth pulled back and gripped my shoulders, and asked, “What?”

 

   “Have you, in all of your seeking, come across the Hebrew Roots people or the movements that say the people who are Caucasian are not Yah’s people?” The look on her face matched the words that came out of her mouth perfectly.

 

   “Wait...what? If that’s real, then I’m grateful this is the first time I am. What does skin color have to do with whether or not someone is in covenant with Yahuah?”

 

   “It makes a difference because it goes hand in hand with who the chosen people are. How deep the deception really goes.” I began to inform, only she made a scrunched-up face and asked, “I am sure this isn't something Marcus brought to you, or I will be calling him up here for clarity. Where is this coming from, and why am I looking at you and seeing someone who is second-guessing herself? Leighton, ut ut. This is not going to work.”

 

   “Marcus didn’t say it, but I think it’s true. His brother introduced him to it, but that wasn’t the first time I found it. It showed up on my feed too. I also received a message from someone who was telling me that I am never going to be in Yah’s kingdom because I am the oppressor, and I come from the seed of Satan.” Before I could go any further, Beth simply let me know she wasn’t impressed.

 

   “Okay, that’s great. Sounds like that person has unresolved identity issues they are taking out on you because they need a scapegoat. Leigh, race is not what Yah looks at. You have to know that.”

 

   “Bee, what if that isn’t true, though? What if we are wrong about that, too? I mean, how many times did Yah tell the Israelites not to take the gentile nations for wives, and then when they did, He was not happy about it. Or when the tribes of Judah and Benjamin were told by Ezra and Nahemiah to send away their wives and children because they were foreign.” I tried to remind her of what was found in Yah’s Word, only she was ready with her own defense.

 

   “No, that was about idolatry, not skin color. Leighton, think about what you are saying. Yah doesn’t hate foreigners. He makes a way for anyone willing to come up under Him and guard His commands and Feasts. Wait...not only that, but think about Joseph. Joseph married an Egyptian woman, and they brought forth Manasseh and Ephraim as a part of Yah’s perfect plan. Whatever you are trying to find here is a lie. Leighton, this is the enemy; you must let this go.” Beth said with such certainty that in that moment, I envied her.

 

   “How can you be so sure? I truly don’t know.” I asked, feeling such heaviness and feelings of self-doubt that I wanted no part of, but hoped that my friend could somehow help.

 

   “Because that look on your face right now is not of Yahuah. You are clinging to verses that are being taken out of context to fit a narrative that is not aligned with the Truth that Yah tells throughout the whole book. If it were about color, He would have made color a bigger deal. It would have been something discussed in more than just the description of Messiah. Look at Esua and Jacob too, they were twins and looked nothing alike, so that means skin color has nothing to do with Yahuah’s covenant people.” My nearly lifelong friend explained once again in confidence, but the look on my face must have been enough to have her further add to what she was saying.

​

“Let’s say it does matter. Let’s say that people with more melanin are directly related to one of the twelve tribes why would that mean people with less wouldn’t be allowed to be grafted in when Yahuah says He made a way through Ephraim and Manasseh?” she asked, and even though I had a feeling she was only asking because she wanted me to see for myself my error, I answered because I wasn’t there yet and hoped she was right.

 

   “Beth, the Gentiles aren’t just anyone. They are the ten northern tribes that were cast out after breaking the covenant. Yah made a way for them, not just anyone?” I answered.

 

   “That is who Paul went to speak to, yes, but we are told multiple times by Yahuah that His people, His Laws, all of His ways are for anyone who does His will. The word Hebrew literally means one who was not in covenant but crosses over into covenant. Think all the way back to Mosesh when Yah delivered His people out of Egypt. They weren’t Hebrews until they crossed over into covenant with Him, and some of them were blood relations to the twelve tribes, sure, but they were also anyone else who came with them and were willing to trust and call only on Yahuah.” I heard the words she spoke, and something in me was beginning to click.

 

   “How did you learn all of this so easily, Bee?” I asked and smiled when she admitted,

 

   “Josh really makes Scripture feel as if it just makes sense. Sometimes, I am shocked by how much things have changed since that first night when Marcus told us the Truth, but it’s like now Yah is our teacher and as long as we lean into Him, He will show us.” I felt a bit of relief and appreciation for Josh being the reason why she was able to share with me the things she learned. Josh was the one who helped me that very same night she mentioned, so I made a mental note to ask if we could be more intentional with meeting as a group again to do deep dives into Yahuah’s Word.

 

   “Josh to the rescue again. I miss meeting and doing studies together. I know life has pulled us into things that we are busy with at the moment, and I don’t mean to suggest that any of us have pushed Yahuah off to the side, but I miss us meeting and sharpening each other. I know I could have and maybe should have talked to Marcus, but I was trying to find out for myself, since well, I am white and I didn’t want him to have to worry about my feelings or protecting me.” I shared honestly. I may not have known what I wanted to say or even how I was truly feeling about any of it when we first got upstairs into the lab; all I knew was that I was glad Beth was intentional and brought things up right away.

 

   “I think that we need to set something up weekly at the bare minimum. Now that things are finally getting situated at the center and there’s a weekly gathering on Shabat, I think we should bring up adding Scripture studies as well. Hey, you know that heavy feeling, the one that feels an awful lot like gloom and doom, that’s not of Yahuah. That is another way you can discern that it’s from the enemy. The deceiver isn’t happy that we are learning who we are, and he wants nothing more than to knock us down. Yah is waking His remnant up, and so the enemy is going to try and lead us astray anyway he can. I know it can be hard sometimes, and we all resonate differently with the people around us, but Leigh, Marcus knows his stuff, too. If you feel like you need to bounce it off of Josh, we are here for you. Never forget that. We don’t face things alone on this ranch, and if it’s something Yah is calling us to deal with separately, then we lift one another as we seek Him. Got it?” I simply nodded and hugged my best friend.

 

   “I love you so much, Bee. Thanks for the reminder. I can’t help but wonder sometimes what I did to be surrounded by such an incredible group of people. Yahuah is so good. Then, when I think about that, I end up feeling terrible for Lucas. I hope they find a way to make it work like Mike and April. Either way, I still know and believe that Yahuah is good. I trust His ways, even when I don’t understand. I even said that in truth to Marcus. I would have continued living my life for Yahuah even if there was no way for me because I know It’s True.”

 

   “Same. My heart breaks for my brother. I did hear that they have been spending time with one another, though, so maybe they can figure something out. Do you think it would be harder, though, to have your husband there but know that he has rejected Yah?” Beth replied as she began uncapping the different vials and lifting them to her nose to get a whiff of their different scents.

 

   “To be honest, I am not sure. I can’t imagine my life without Marcus, so the fact that we are both in agreement and have both been given eyes to see is no joke, something I give thanks for every minute of every day. That being said, I think I would still want him around me, hoping he would eventually come around, like we already lived out together. To me, having him there would keep the door open, whereas if he left, I’m not so sure there would really be a chance. Especially when they would be living entirely in the world.” I explained, knowing that we had a completely different life from Lucas and Elizabeth, and even April and Mike. The ranch was like our own little oasis that was in the world, physically only because we all were awake to the Truth. Yah kept us protected and shielded from it for the most part. As long as we remained on His path and followed His ways.

 

   “I think that things have helped tremendously since the Edwards moved into the main house. You can see the change in Big Mike. I can’t even begin to imagine how hard it must be to have to function in the Matrix. How do you do it for real?” Beth asked as she started separating the scents she liked best. “Ooh, this one smells incredible,” she added and handed me the glass bottle of the one I have used in all the things I have made for her since the very first time I crafted her signature scent.

 

After I smiled and let her know she was consistent if nothing else, I explained that being my own boss, as well as partnering with like-minded people, sort of removed me from the Matrix. “I don’t think it’s the same. Mike has to deal with rules and regulations that are set up to keep people lost in the world and trapped, with hopes they don’t ever get out. I’m hoping that living here, along with all the time he has been spending with Andrea, will open up doors so that he can see that he doesn’t have to turn his back on everything he has ever learned and believed in.” I answered truthfully. I knew at such a young age that traditional medicine made more sense, so I was never fully indoctrinated by my schooling. Mike and I were in different fields, but the American education system is based completely on lies meant to enslave you as well as keep you from learning the truth about the Most High. Mike embraced all of the lies and believed them to be facts, so while he was learning, there was more to the things he was taught; he had yet to figure out what to do with all the new information. That kind of realization can truly mess with a person's mind and could take time to process.

 

 

   “Hey, Bee...did you even picture this when we were growing up? Not the Yah stuff, of course, but living on the ranch and all of the things that come with this incredible life. Josh, your boys?” I asked as I mixed the different ingredients together to give the new product line a try.

 

   “I always wanted to be close to you, and getting to see you being adored by your husband is quite nice. I wanted to be married, but I never could have dreamed of meeting someone like Josh. I mean, he is way more than I could have hoped for. The boys—I always wanted at least four, so yeah, I guess in a way it’s what I pictured, but never as incredible as it is. I get you, and all the others. Kalisa is oh my word, and Abby, Lily, and the boys. All of um, and living with Aunt Betsy and Uncle Butch is the best. I always loved this ranch, and now it is literally our home. It’s really a dream come true.” Beth rattled off, and unlike her, I didn’t know what my life would look like. I knew what I wanted to do with myself as far as my career went, but who I would marry or if I would be a mom, I didn’t spend too much time dreaming of what those things would look like. I wanted a husband, but never in any of the possible scenarios I may have given thought to did I ever dare to dream of all that I have. So I smiled at my friend and thanked Yahuah again for the beautiful life He had given me.

 

 

 

“Marcus”

 

   I tried my best to leave Leighton and Beth alone and was able to when I went over to the main house and found a bottle of Leighton’s milk in the fridge. Kalisa didn’t breastfeed as often as she did when she was younger, and sometimes I was able to hold her off with actual food until Lighton was able to feed her. When her feedings were more frequent, Leighton would pump so we had milk on hand, only she recently stopped keeping up with her supply when she was able to feed her own her own each day.

 

   “Are you out completely at home?” Betsy asked when I sang praise to Yahuah after locating just enough to feed Kalisa.

 

   “I can’t believe I am saying this, but, yeah. There was no more in the fridge or the freezer. To be honest, she doesn’t really need the bottles more than two, maybe three times a day, so Leighton stopped pumping.” I began to explain when all of a sudden Leighton’s voice cried out, “Wait, Marcus, don’t heat that up. I need to feed her. I’m leaking everywhere.”

 

Leighton lifted Kalisa and brought her into the den, where she immediately began feeding our daughter the moment they sat down. I followed her, and when I looked into her eyes, I wasn’t sure what I was seeing. “You okay?” I asked, not at all comfortable that I couldn’t read my wife. The very woman I knew like the back of my hand.

 

   “A little leaked milk won’t get me down,” she teased before locking her eyes with mine and saying, “I think I am. Beth really helped me snap out of it, but Babe.” She began and paused to reach for me. I took her outreached hand, knelt down before her, and gripped her neck as I stroked her chin with my thumb before I nodded so she knew I was listening.

 

   “We need to start meeting again as a group, but also, the two of us. I know the importance of leaning into Yah on our own, but there’s also something to coming together and digging into the Word. I’m so sorry I didn’t come to you but Marcus, I was afraid that you would try to protect me from the Truth or maybe even miss it yourself because of me.” I knew my nostrils flared as she confessed her fears, and I made sure to hold eye contact with her as I kept my voice steady and reminded her who I was.

 

   “Leighton, I have never lied to you or sugar-coated anything when it comes to you. I have been honest from the start, and that will never change. I am sorry for not coming right to you when Benji first started talking to me about this nonsense, but please let me tell you why.” I began and paused so I could kiss her. Leighton closed her eyes and let out a little sigh when my lips touched hers, and once I pulled away, she smiled. Kalisa reached up and caught my chin, which caused her to laugh and release from her mother’s breast just in time to switch to the other side.

 

Wanting to be closer to Leighton, I stood up and took the seat beside her once Kalisa was back to feeding. I reached my hand over and stroked my wife’s beautiful face and explained the same thing I said to Samuel as to why I waited, and added, “I just wanted to make sure before I said anything. I wasn’t trying to keep it from you, and I hated that you found it on your own. Babe, why didn’t you tell me what you found?”

 

   “I was afraid, Marcus. Not of you, but that at some point you would have to choose or that you would regret marrying me. I don’t know,” she said, and I couldn’t believe what I heard. Needing to be closer, I moved back so I was kneeling in front of her and made sure there was no doubt in her mind that what I was saying was how I really felt.

 

   “Leighton Cook, you are my wife, and I love you. Nothing is going to change that. If I am going to be honest, then I have to admit, before I got me a Josh, and then a whole family that came along with him, I was surrounded by people who looked more like me, but it wasn’t because of anything more than location. I didn’t meet you and think about your skin color, or my skin color. I knew I thought you were the most beautiful woman I had ever laid eyes on, but it’s because it was you. I’m the odd man out in this town. You got me, Grand-mom, some of the ranch hands, and a little bit of Wyatt, but the rest of you were rather pale in comparison. I never cared too much because everyone treated me like I belonged here. Now that things have changed and we have Benji and our family from the reservation, there’s a little more diversity, but again, it never mattered to me. In fact, I believe that’s truly how it was intended to be. Color is the least important factor in regard to Yah’s kingdom. Yah cares about our hearts, and that is why the enemy tries to divide us by the color of our skin. So, if I have ever done anything to make you believe otherwise, I am sorry.”

 

I laughed when Leighton joked, “Well, I guess I have a type,” and then playfully teased back, “So, you only wanted me for my ability to produce melatonin and not because I was this persistent, charming, all-around fine specimen of a male?” Keeping up with the lightness of our playful mood, she returned, “Oh no, I mean that was part of it. Your player self— trying to wear me down, and your smooth moves while getting me to cry more than I probably ever had in my entire life. Marcus, you are the finest man I have ever seen, and everything about you shook up my world in all the best ways. Even if at the time, I couldn’t see it. But seriously, I had someone say some pretty nasty things to me, and just like how you implied, that everything is done with the intention of being the opposite of what Yah intends, I leaned into that.” I wasn’t sure I heard her clearly when she said someone said something to her, so I cocked my head to the side and lifted my brow while I pulled my lower lip in, which she understood without me having to say a word.

 

   “It’s not worth going into, and I’m okay. Thanks for wanting to protect me, but I've blocked them, so it’s all good. Really, Marcus, it’s okay,” she tried to soothe, but a part of me wanted to see for myself what was said so I could be certain she was okay. I’m her protector, and I didn’t like knowing I failed at my job. Reminding myself that Yah didn’t want me to act like a brute, I took in a slow, deep breath and trusted she was telling me the truth.

 

  “I promise, I am okay. Marcus, I really love you. Thank you for chasing me for all of those years and then coming back to me after you found yourself. I knew all along you were the one who knew me best, and I knew that you belonged here with all of us. Yahuah really did know what He was doing all along; we both just needed to trust Him.” The look on my wife’s face as she professed her love for me while feeding our child hit me right in the feelings. I loved my wife, our daughter, our life that we shared with our loved ones, and when I leaned over to kiss her, I thanked my Heavenly Father for all of it.